Thursday, May 13, 2010

Weapons in a Zombie Apocalypse

Because I was bored...


The best (and worst) weapons for surviving a zombie apocalypse.

(Please note: this is all speculation. I have never been in a zombie apocalypse, nor am I an expert in zombie apocalypses, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. Also, this is all for fun.)













So, the zombie apocalypse has come, and you're wondering what weapons you should take to better survive the invasion. Should you take the baseball bat or the chainsaw, the Machete or the flamethrower (and why do you even have a flamethrower in your house?) Wonder no more. Here are a few popular weapon choices for the zombie apocalypse. Are they right for you? Just read on...



Weapons you probably don't want to use during a zombie apocalypse:

Flamethrower--Yeah, it looks all cool and bad-ass and all, but its not as useful as one might think. One, it slows you down, something you do not want during a zombie invasion. Two, what's worse than hungry murderous zombies? Hungry murderous zombies on fire.



















Sniper Rifle--Okay, this is awesome if you're, say, two miles away and can see the zombies staggering toward you up a hill. But, as we all know, where does everyone always end up in a zombie apocalypse? Right, completely surrounded by a huge zombie mob. Leave the Sniper Rifle for target practice.

Chainsaw--This is a popular weapon of choice for the zombie apocalypse, but it might not be the best. After all its heavy, its awkward, and unless you're a lumberjack you're not going to know how to use it efficiently. And once it runs out of gas, its pretty much useless. Still, a good weapon in a pinch if there is only a few zombies, and you don't mind getting spectacularly messy.


Good weapons of choice for the zombie apocalypse

Baseball Bat--Possibly the best all around weapon for killing zombies; cheap, readily available, no ammo, and little skill required. Metal is probably better then wood, and of course, always aim for the skull.














Machete--A nice big knife with a nice sharp edge is always a good choice for the zombie apocalypse, with one caution: Machete's and other big knives have been known to stick in a body when used, so be careful your weapon isn't yanked from your grip when surrounded by zombies. Don't waste time and energy hacking at a zombie's chest or arms--always go for the neck. A zombie with no head is a zombie who can't bite you.

Katana--If you happen to have one of these, properly sharpened, they're excellent for cutting zombies clean in half. Again, to be safe, always go for the beheading. Or, in a pinch, the legs. Even if its not dead, a legless zombie will be considerably slower, giving you a chance to run away.

Guns--Pistols and handguns are extremely useful during a zombie apocalypse. They're quick, and they have range, allowing you to pick off a horde before it can get close enough to eat you. But they require skill to use, so its best to take several shooting classes to familiarize yourself with a gun if you suspect a zombie plague will break out soon.

Grenades--Most of us aren't lucky enough to have grenades but if you can get access to some they're excellent for thinning out a big horde. Strategically placed mines, napalm, C-4, and dynamite is also useful.

Vehicle--What's the best thing for breaking through a zombie horde? A two-ton hunk of metal going 45 mph. Hummers, armored vans, and SUVs are good choices. Attaching a snow plow to the front is ideal. Open-top jeeps and convertibles are not recommended.













Axe--Good only if you're strong enough to swing it quickly. Also, watch out for it sticking in the skull.

Mace/Morningstar/Iron pipe/Other--Blunt, bludgeoning weapons are always good choices. Really, anything that you can pick up and swing with enough force to crack a skull is good. In an emergency, lots of everyday items will do: lamps, chairs, shovels, golf clubs. Know your surroundings, and use them to fight off your attackers.

And, my number one choice for surviving the zombie apocalypse

Shotgun--There is no better close-quarters weapon then the humble shotgun. Except perhaps a sawed-off shotgun for an even wider angle. For sheer, face shredding, multiple skull exploding power it really can't be beat. Just make sure you grab a lot of ammo and have a backup bludgeoning weapon on hand (see: baseball bat) when you run out of shells. Really, you should carry at least three weapons on you at all times. It's essential to be prepared when facing the zombie apocalypse.

So, did I leave any out? What are your favorite weapons for zombie survival?

21 comments:

  1. julie you rock! great choices guns are too noisy and draw other zombies. If your not already reading it try the walking dead comic by robert kirkman it's sooo good youll love it :)

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  2. Eek just reading this gives me shivers! Haha but I would like to point out that since zombies are technically dead, a knife in the guts won't do much to slow them down. It's got to be a nice old beheading or they'll just keep plowing towards you with as many knives as you please sticking out of their bodies! Haha.

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  3. thank you for this very informative post! *off to hunt for machete in the shed*...
    but in all honesty, i would be a zombie, not a survivor. :P

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  4. You reminded me that I forgot about my Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit list xD. I'll have to get back on that. The Katana and Shotgun are my two favourites in this oh and the car, another reason I need to learn to drive. How about a crossbow? Its not very noisy and shouldn't be too hard to carry around.

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  5. Have you read The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks? It states the number one weapon to survival is a Katana sword, b/c you can never run out of ammo. Anyways, if you haven't read it, I totally think you need to obtain it and treasure it.

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    Replies
    1. just because it doesn't have a ammo limit doesn't mean it would be the best weapon in a zombie apocalypse. Besides you have to sharpen it all the time, constantly clean it, among other things.

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  6. I would have to go with mt mother-in-law's Tuna Casserole..throw and run....ok just kidding..a bat.

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  7. wat happened to teaser tuesday?

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  8. Haha! Excellent & impressively comprehensive list! You make some very intelligent points, and I have to say I'm sold on the shotgun and the baseball bat. Though "hungry murderous zombies on fire" does sound like an awesome band name. ;)

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  9. I'm all for this zombie post... my favorite weapon is the vehicle... but where is Teaser Tuesday? I want a late puck one really bad!

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  10. Well i would go mid evil with it nothing better to fend of zombies than a claymore , kitana , cat claws , mace , machete , long sword , long bow , cross bow , or for modern weapons i would sugest , tazer lol , shot gun , smg , 50 cal dragonov , desert eagle , two police standard hand guns or a colt revolver for last result. a good vehicle to use if u like big toys is a school bus if properly suited with good armour and the snow plow cover all windows not used for driving maybe leave a few open. and for personal armout i suggest raiding the police department for swat armour

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  11. How about an M1 Garand and a shotgun for my primary and secondary weapons! and for the blunt id use a crowbar! solid, steel, has that hook on the end...

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  12. If you use a weapon like a knife or a sword,the zombie's blood will go on you and the zombie's blood... will infect yourself! youII become a zombie! So,the weapons to a zombie apocalypse are weapons life a pistol,and others..
    So I recomend to everybody learn to use weapons and where find them .

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  13. All out M-16 and noob tube. Heck yeah

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  14. Ak-47, Springfield XD.40, and knife or bat. I mean, if you wanna be patient with head shots go ahead...or you can use your shotgun or rifles and go for the legs too. Have you tried walking with a broken femur today?

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    Replies
    1. in my own opinion a legless zombie is as dangerous as one with legs with the exception of how fast they move.

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  15. “Hummers, armored vans, and SUVs are good choices.” – I definitely agree with you! And just like in The Walking Dead series, it’ll be best if you’ve got someone who owns an RV or a mobile home in your group. Even better if the mobile home is the Zetros by Mercedes-Benz! Aside from its comfy interior features and its humongous size, I like that it has a special space for storing an ATV. This can provide you with a quick escape in case of a zombie horde attack! On another note, I’m wishing they’d include riding cars in the Left4Dead game. Hmm.

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  16. Well, I really saw this coming. After Plants VS Zombies, The Walking Dead, and many more zombie-related things became a hit, I already assumed that people will be creating shields and weapon against zombies. Well, a zombie-proof car was really the most awesome (or craziest) idea I’ve ever heard. Haha! It may really sound silly, but there are people who are really serious with this idea.

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  17. why not get a large electric car and modify it so you can put solar panels on it. gas will eventually run out or go bad so why not be ready rather than sorry???

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  18. This is a very good link and I would suggest using it but remember that guns will eventually run out of ammo I would suggest to get something that has clips and you can reload really fast and in case of the Apocalypse lasting for a long time familiarize yourself with something that doesn't require ammo such as suggested above ( machete ax baseball bat or even a metal pipe) another thing would to be to learn how to use a bow and arrow because in the case the ammo runs out that would be very very helpful for long range kills

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  19. Your site growing Rapidly because you have much batter ideas so thanks for sharing.solar panels for schools

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